Worry My Life Away

Tomorrow is Friday, and that is a blessed thing. I am so excited about the weekend, and hopefully getting some things accomplished, although I do have to remember that we have ministry teams on Saturday at 2:00PM and that will go all the way until 9:00PM... let's see if I last that long! A seven hour day with no break and limited access to food sounds like a seriously bad time. But this is the last ministry of the semester, so I should really be there, and Scott said we'll take the truck, so I'll have a safety net if I need to leave early.

Have I ever said on here that I am a major worrier? Cos I am. I worry about the past, present, and future. I worry about the small things, and I worry about the big things. I worry about myself, and I worry about others. There is pretty much nothing that I am unable to worry about. You can tell me tomorrow will be a perfect and beautiful day, and I will worry that I'll miss it, or that there will never be another day like it. Even in my most content moment I worry. I've noticed this about myself for a very long time. I will have this feeling of absolute perfection about me... the air will feel just right, my body is relaxed, everything will be calm, but there will be the one bit of uncertainty... that little thought in the back of my head, that something is about to go wrong, or I'll feel sad knowing that at any moment my joy will end. I don't know if I have ever known perfect contentment...

I truly believe that what would make a perfect day for me would be to have no worries. I wouldn't get upset or frustrated. Everything would be okay, no matter how bad it was. I want to thrive in my life... to be satisfied in all I do, but right now I'm just surviving... just existing to get from point A to point B. I really need to work on my optimism, haha. It's really not as bad as I am making it out to be. I'm just having a moment of melancholy. I'll get over it soon.

Another day, another blog post. I really need to think of something more uplifting to write...